1 00:00:25,472 --> 00:00:26,666 Good evening. 2 00:00:27,841 --> 00:00:32,744 Most of you have doubtless read how Anne Boleyn lost her head. 3 00:00:33,814 --> 00:00:37,545 King Henry Vlll, no longer fascinated, said, 4 00:00:38,051 --> 00:00:40,019 "Let her be decapitated." 5 00:00:40,954 --> 00:00:42,945 Thereupon the legend goes 6 00:00:43,757 --> 00:00:48,717 her ghost roamed about each night with utmost dignity and charm, 7 00:00:49,596 --> 00:00:53,828 with her head tucked underneath her arm. 8 00:00:56,002 --> 00:00:58,971 Now with two heads it occurs to me 9 00:00:59,473 --> 00:01:01,771 I can think more clearly than with three. 10 00:01:01,842 --> 00:01:05,209 However, if the worst should come, 11 00:01:05,846 --> 00:01:07,939 one head's a basic minimum. 12 00:01:08,115 --> 00:01:10,276 Therefore, in my work, 13 00:01:10,350 --> 00:01:13,615 I hardly dare to roam about without one spare. 14 00:01:14,788 --> 00:01:17,552 Tonight's legend tells of modern life 15 00:01:18,692 --> 00:01:20,387 and how to solve a problem: 16 00:01:21,328 --> 00:01:22,317 Wife. 17 00:10:42,755 --> 00:10:44,347 I was only doing 35, Officer. 18 00:10:44,424 --> 00:10:47,188 What I stopped you for has got nothing to do with speeding. 19 00:10:54,701 --> 00:10:57,295 Why, I don't understand. I was driving real careful. 20 00:10:57,370 --> 00:10:59,861 It's got nothing to do with your driving, either. 21 00:11:00,974 --> 00:11:02,441 You've got a taillight out. 22 00:11:03,076 --> 00:11:04,065 Oh? 23 00:11:05,044 --> 00:11:07,308 Well, it was all right when I left the house. 24 00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:09,075 Well, it's not all right now. 25 00:11:09,582 --> 00:11:11,379 Let's see your driver's license. 26 00:11:22,028 --> 00:11:24,519 Oh, from Edgetown, huh? Yeah. 27 00:11:24,964 --> 00:11:26,124 Where you headed? 28 00:11:26,733 --> 00:11:28,257 Oh, nowhere in particular. 29 00:11:28,334 --> 00:11:30,928 I was just out taking a little drive. 30 00:11:31,804 --> 00:11:34,034 What are you going to do about the taillight? 31 00:11:34,507 --> 00:11:37,067 I'll have it fixed first thing in the morning. 32 00:11:37,677 --> 00:11:39,144 No, that's not good enough. 33 00:11:39,379 --> 00:11:41,370 You can't be driving around with that taillight out. 34 00:11:41,447 --> 00:11:42,971 That's how accidents happen. 35 00:11:43,950 --> 00:11:45,611 Well, I don't know what I can do. 36 00:11:45,685 --> 00:11:47,175 Well, you can get it fixed. 37 00:11:47,754 --> 00:11:50,279 There's a gas station about a mile back, on the main highway. 38 00:11:51,491 --> 00:11:52,981 Oh, well, I'll go right there. 39 00:11:53,059 --> 00:11:55,425 Yeah. See that you do. 40 00:11:55,528 --> 00:11:56,517 Yep. 41 00:12:51,851 --> 00:12:54,649 Fill her up? No. I need a new bulb for my taillight. 42 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:55,914 And I'm in a hurry. 43 00:12:55,988 --> 00:12:57,615 Everyone always is. 44 00:13:13,673 --> 00:13:15,402 Here you are, mister. 45 00:13:16,175 --> 00:13:18,439 What's the matter? You nervous or something? 46 00:13:18,511 --> 00:13:21,446 Just give me the bulb. Don't you want me to put it in for you? 47 00:13:35,328 --> 00:13:36,659 Maybe you'd better. 48 00:13:36,729 --> 00:13:37,855 Okay. 49 00:14:42,828 --> 00:14:45,023 What do you make of that? It don't work. 50 00:14:47,266 --> 00:14:49,826 Maybe the bulb's no good. Not a chance. It's brand new. 51 00:14:49,902 --> 00:14:51,335 I just took it out of the package. 52 00:14:51,404 --> 00:14:52,769 It could be defective anyway. 53 00:14:52,838 --> 00:14:55,705 Nuts. Nothing wrong with that. 54 00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:58,777 What's the matter, Red? 55 00:15:00,346 --> 00:15:01,973 What's the trouble all about? 56 00:15:03,316 --> 00:15:05,580 Take a look at this bulb and tell me what you think. 57 00:15:08,054 --> 00:15:09,749 Looks all right. 58 00:15:09,822 --> 00:15:11,983 Put it back in and jiggle it around a little bit. 59 00:15:12,058 --> 00:15:13,082 Sometimes that'll do it. 60 00:15:13,159 --> 00:15:14,649 Already done that. 61 00:15:15,127 --> 00:15:16,389 Nope. Don't work. 62 00:15:16,462 --> 00:15:17,759 Wait a minute. 63 00:15:23,970 --> 00:15:25,904 Now, you got a defective wire. 64 00:15:27,373 --> 00:15:30,536 What do you got in the trunk? Seems to be loaded down pretty good. 65 00:15:31,143 --> 00:15:35,443 Uh, just some tools I forgot to take out at the house. They're kind of heavy. 66 00:15:35,514 --> 00:15:37,505 That's what did it. Yeah. 67 00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:41,142 One of those tools probably rubbed against a frayed wire and grounded it out. 68 00:15:41,220 --> 00:15:42,346 Where's the key? 69 00:15:43,789 --> 00:15:44,778 Key? 70 00:15:45,124 --> 00:15:48,150 Yeah. We'll open the trunk and Red can take a look at it. 71 00:15:48,261 --> 00:15:50,161 Probably fix it with a piece of tape. 72 00:15:53,899 --> 00:15:55,730 What's the matter? You sick or something? 73 00:16:12,385 --> 00:16:15,354 I only got the ignition key. I must've left the trunk key at home. 74 00:16:15,421 --> 00:16:18,117 Oh. Well, this light's got to be fixed. 75 00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:20,283 There's been a lot of accidents on this highway lately 76 00:16:20,359 --> 00:16:21,883 and this could cause another one. 77 00:16:22,795 --> 00:16:25,923 You know, sometimes you can spring these open on these old cars. 78 00:16:27,566 --> 00:16:28,555 No. 79 00:16:29,302 --> 00:16:30,291 Huh? 80 00:16:31,304 --> 00:16:34,398 Well, I mean, can't you just give me a ticket and get it over with? 81 00:16:36,409 --> 00:16:37,398 Well, why? 82 00:16:37,810 --> 00:16:41,268 Well, it'd be a lot cheaper in the long run than ruining the lock. 83 00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:45,211 Sure, I could give you a ticket. 84 00:16:45,651 --> 00:16:48,415 But that wouldn't fix that taillight, now, would it? 85 00:16:49,755 --> 00:16:51,746 I asked you a question. Would it? 86 00:16:52,124 --> 00:16:53,557 Well, locks are expensive. 87 00:16:53,626 --> 00:16:55,093 So they're expensive. 88 00:16:55,661 --> 00:16:58,960 Look, suppose a guy comes along and runs into your rear. 89 00:16:59,031 --> 00:17:01,499 You know, mistakes you for a motorcycle or something. 90 00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:03,159 Or maybe he's half-tanked. 91 00:17:03,235 --> 00:17:05,226 Now, you both wind up in the hospital. 92 00:17:05,304 --> 00:17:07,329 Is that cheaper than buying a new lock? 93 00:17:08,541 --> 00:17:09,701 No, I suppose not. 94 00:17:09,875 --> 00:17:12,537 Now, I know you're afraid I'll scratch your car 95 00:17:12,611 --> 00:17:14,738 and that would lower the trade-in value. 96 00:17:16,649 --> 00:17:18,480 You know, some of you guys make me laugh. 97 00:17:18,551 --> 00:17:21,349 You treat these old cars like they're old ladies. 98 00:17:21,954 --> 00:17:24,149 Red, get me a crowbar. Sure. 99 00:17:46,846 --> 00:17:48,905 It's all right. It's all right! 100 00:17:49,248 --> 00:17:51,944 Don't be too sure. There's no telling how long it'll stay on. 101 00:17:52,017 --> 00:17:53,678 Well, at least till I get home. 102 00:17:53,753 --> 00:17:56,449 You better have it fixed first thing in the morning. I certainly will. 103 00:17:56,522 --> 00:17:59,457 Just be sure you do because next time I'll give you a ticket. 104 00:17:59,525 --> 00:18:00,514 Here, Red. 105 00:18:12,571 --> 00:18:13,560 Okay. 106 00:20:45,958 --> 00:20:47,448 What's the big hurry? 107 00:20:48,561 --> 00:20:51,792 Well, I was only going 35. That's under the limit. 108 00:20:52,064 --> 00:20:54,055 I didn't say you were speeding. 109 00:20:54,133 --> 00:20:57,330 Why is it people always think they're being stopped for speeding? 110 00:20:57,770 --> 00:20:59,533 You know, the way you shot out of that gas station 111 00:20:59,605 --> 00:21:01,869 anybody would've thought you were on fire. 112 00:21:02,575 --> 00:21:05,738 Here. You gave him a five spot and forgot to get your change. 113 00:21:05,811 --> 00:21:10,180 Well, thanks a lot, Officer. Thanks very much. I'm much obliged to you. 114 00:21:10,649 --> 00:21:13,982 I guess it just slipped my mind. 115 00:21:14,086 --> 00:21:16,646 You must have a lot on your mind to forget a five spot. 116 00:21:16,755 --> 00:21:18,950 Yeah, well, I guess everybody does. 117 00:21:19,024 --> 00:21:21,959 Well, thanks for bringing it to me. It's okay. 118 00:21:23,896 --> 00:21:26,330 I thought you said you lived in Edgetown. 119 00:21:26,899 --> 00:21:29,299 I do. What're you doing on this road? 120 00:21:30,936 --> 00:21:33,370 Well, I... I didn't feel like going right home. 121 00:21:33,439 --> 00:21:34,929 I thought I'd take a little drive. 122 00:21:35,374 --> 00:21:37,171 It's a little risky with that taillight. 123 00:21:38,177 --> 00:21:40,168 Yeah, well, I guess it's all right now. 124 00:21:40,312 --> 00:21:41,939 Well, I hope so, for your sake. Yeah. 125 00:21:42,014 --> 00:21:44,244 Oh, wait a minute. I'll have a look for you. 126 00:21:53,559 --> 00:21:56,289 Well, I got news for you. It's out again. 127 00:21:56,762 --> 00:21:58,957 It can't be. It's out like a light. 128 00:21:59,898 --> 00:22:01,092 Want to take a look? 129 00:22:04,069 --> 00:22:07,266 Don't look so worried. You know, I just happened to think of something. 130 00:22:07,339 --> 00:22:08,499 What? 131 00:22:08,574 --> 00:22:10,804 Headquarters about a mile up ahead. 132 00:22:10,876 --> 00:22:13,106 Matter of fact, this road's a shortcut to it. 133 00:22:13,712 --> 00:22:15,145 Headquarters? Yeah. 134 00:22:15,214 --> 00:22:18,445 We got a mechanic there. He'll have that trunk open in about two seconds. 135 00:22:18,517 --> 00:22:20,451 He'll fix that light and it won't cost you a cent. 136 00:22:20,519 --> 00:22:22,111 Well, my house is only a little ways from here. 137 00:22:22,187 --> 00:22:23,677 I'll drive it there and then I'll... 138 00:22:23,756 --> 00:22:25,587 I'll get it fixed first thing in the morning. 139 00:22:25,658 --> 00:22:28,320 Now, that's pretty dangerous. You better have it fixed now. 140 00:22:28,394 --> 00:22:29,452 Follow me. 141 00:23:04,830 --> 00:23:05,819 Thank you. 142 00:23:06,298 --> 00:23:08,323 One less mile to go. 143 00:23:08,767 --> 00:23:11,930 Next week another script, another show. 144 00:23:12,404 --> 00:23:15,430 When electrons glide across your screen, 145 00:23:15,507 --> 00:23:18,772 bringing some new and unforeseen brand of murder. 146 00:23:19,178 --> 00:23:21,203 I mean the quiet kind, 147 00:23:21,714 --> 00:23:24,148 perpetrated solely in our mind. 148 00:23:24,316 --> 00:23:25,715 A gentle thump. 149 00:23:26,151 --> 00:23:28,016 A soothing splash. 150 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,914 No bullet, shriek or livid gash. 151 00:23:30,989 --> 00:23:33,822 No stains, no fumes, no ugly splatter. 152 00:23:34,526 --> 00:23:37,791 We use only the purest subject matter. 153 00:23:38,831 --> 00:23:40,093 Good night.